is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
