let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
