rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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