Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
