No subtext here. People are naked.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
