Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
