u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
