Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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