It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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