I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
