it's not cheating when I paid for it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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