Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
