they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
