Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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