he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
