i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
