we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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