The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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