I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
