It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
