He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
