We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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