sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
