Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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