I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
