I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
