Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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