You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
