Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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