so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My balls are so social today.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
