my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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