nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
