nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
