If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
