I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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