Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
