Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
