In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
