Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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