Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
