Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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