dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
