I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
