ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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