just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
