this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
