woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
