I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He shit in the fireplace
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