so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
