they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
