Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
