I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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