Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
