no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
